A few portrait photographs of myself by okuru.captions, a young and upcoming photographer! I thought to share this here to post something different. It was a fun experience and I hope to do more photoshoots with other photographers~
Not going to make this a long post but I wanted to say that I am working on a short animation right now. Storyboarding and character designing lots. I’ve wanted to challenge myself for a while now and I think that this is the perfect challenge! Since this is my first time creating an animation I know that it will take a few months to finish but I can’t wait to show you guys on here! Something new and hopefully something good.
Hey everyone! It’s been a long time since I’ve made a more personal post about what I’ve been up to. I wanted to update you guys on everything!
To be honest nothing spectacular has happened in the past few months but I have suspended my studies at Goldsmiths doing BA Design. The reason behind this was way deeper than not enjoying the course but also because I felt as though I was in a very lost place. My mind was all over the place and I began questioning if the course was what really was best for me! I would go in to uni feeling stressed and unorganised. I felt as though I lost passion for my creativity and just getting things done became a real challenge. I stopped updating my blog too but this blog is literally my baby. I felt so much pressure to produce work quickly and just get on with it really. It all got too much so I decided that this was no longer benefiting me creatively, no longer making me grow as a person and so I put everything on pause.
I am not saying the course is bad it just wasn’t for me and not what I expected it to be. Its a good course to do for anyone who love collaborative work, fast paced and presenting their work in front of people. I think that if you really love design (politically and socially) then it would be the right course for you!
Hmm…Its now been about a two months since I left – I can definitely say that I feel much happier and in a healthier place. I’ve never felt this calm before. All I’ve been doing for the time being is allowing my body and mind to rest and calm down. Reading lots of books, writing poems and figuring out what I really want to do from now on I kind of know now but I am still waiting for conformation!
I’m really just practicing drawing again and getting back into illustration! I’ve neglected drawing for so long now. My hand has been itching to draw for a while now and I miss being able to just draw and not think about anything else! For the next few months I’m solely going to focus on drawing again and might do a little photography.
Can’t wait to update this blog with my new drawings! Until then see you!!
Sonder: n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness.
Isolation: n. the process or fact of isolating or being isolated.
Stillness: n. the absence of movement or sound.
Solo: n. a thing done by one person unaccompanied
In the city we rarely find ourselves alone yet we can feel terribly alone in a big crowd. We forget how our space would look like if they were empty. The hustle and bustle during the day with office workers in dull suits hurrying through the big city but by night it transforms to big stage. You can choose to be under the spot light or be the audience. I was the audience this time capturing London’s soloists.
Throughout this shoot I kept in mind the idea of capturing stillness in the city; while everyone is constantly moving, talking or taking selfies you always find the lone ranger among all this noise. That stillness. Losing all other thoughts I captured these moments as honestly as I could.
“Solitude matters, and for some people, it’s the air they breathe”
― Susan Cain
In our society being extroverted is a desirable personality trait and we often associate being introverted as something that needs to be changed or seen as a negative. Introverts are often told to “come out their shells” and to interact more with others. Why is being alone seen as something that needs fixing? Being alone in the city is almost a rebellious act of saying “I can be alone in a place where most people are with someone else” I am not saying that every person I captured is an introvert or is lonely. I simply captured that moment as honestly as I could and it is open to interpretation.
Being alone is not always something to be seen as a negative. It is necessary to be in solitude from time to time. There’s no right or wrong in such a complex subject of being alone.
To simplify being alone isn’t always equivalent to being/feeling lonely. Essentially we are all alone in a sense that no one will ever know what we’re thinking or how we’re feeling. We can be surrounded by people but still feel lonely.
Then what makes us lonely? What makes people feel isolated?
In every photograph is a layer of text that are almost like stories or confessions of myself. I intentionally did this to see if this shifted the mood of the images. The aim for these photographs was to be as untouched and honest as I could get them to be; adding my own “confessions” is something that I am not entirely sure about but I wanted this to be unique. I not only do art/photography I also write a lot of poems and hoped to merge all of this together into one.
“Why do people have to be this lonely? What’s the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?”
― Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart
It is something that we can’t define as this ONE thing because everyone is different from each other. This feeling that we can all feel at one point in our lives can’t be described into words. The feeling is and is not at the same time.
I hope that these photographs can provoke a thought, idea or feeling and they’re
Hello! I have some cool news to share with you guys~ Project City X Isolation will be in Issue Three of Femini Mag!! That’s why I’ve been stalling uploading all my photographs but I can tell you guys now that issue three is available to preorder here. I’m very excited and happy to tell you guys.
I’ve had a creative block for a while after and I am trying to simplify everything in my life right now to be able to focus more on my art/design. I have suspended my university studies and it was the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. It was not the right course for me and I am taking time out to work freely and not have stresses of finishing essays (I’m not an essay kind of person).
I’m taking this time out of studies as an opportunity to work on myself and my creative journey! I definitely have a plan to do short courses later this year and will update this blog with what I’m up to!
Alright enough talking here are a couple more photographs for Project City X Isolation.
Puppet: n.a movable model of a person or animal that is typically moved either by strings controlled from above or by a hand inside it.
Absent: a. not present in a place, at an occasion, or as part of something.
(of an expression or manner) showing that someone is not paying attention to what is being said or done.
Affinity: n. a natural liking for and understanding of someone or something.
you can’t navigate through your life if you can’t even hear your own voice. – Yumi Koco
I’ll be releasing a picture a day to keep this blog up to date and to make sure that I’m being consistent. I have a reason for not posting everything on here (I’ll let you in the next post) but for now I’m planning to release these images once a day! I don’t to keep you waiting for too long.
Isolation: n. the process or fact of isolating or being isolated.
Disconnected:(of a person) lacking contact with reality.
“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
Living in London there are times when there’s so much going on and there’s not a lot of time to slow down to appreciate the things surrounding us. Making real connections with people in general and the people we love.
Often we get distracted by our mobile phones and social media being not so social. It can be a bad habit and a distraction when spending time with others. This endless cycle of needing to update or keep track of our social media platforms can be very unhealthy if we let it keep us from living in reality. I’ve had moments where I just wanted to get rid of my own phone. Maybe our phones which original purpose was to make people connected when apart is making us feel disconnected and apart. We’ve changed the purpose and meaning of our phones. It has become a gift but also a curse. Some of us are dependent on our phones and feel “lost” without it. We’re attached to the thing that can sometimes keep us detached from others.
We upload our instagrams, facebook status and text through whatsapp but does that mean anything? I personally can’t remember the things I say on these platforms and there’s no memories attached to these things I post. I can’t recall the conversations I’ve had on whatsapp two days ago but can remember a conversation from years ago I had with a friend face to face. Yet we have these stored away digitally and the act of deleting a picture, account or conversation can be hard for many people.
There’s also a good side to our mobile phones is that we can keep in contact with our loved ones if they’re in a different country for long term. It can keep us connected to them in a way but sometimes that is not enough to keep the feeling of loneliness away. Maybe for a few minutes/hours but when the phone call or face time ends we are faced with nothing but what we’re surrounded by.
I think that that is what makes it so bittersweet.
*Disclaimer – the photograph is original taken by me and the text in the photograph is original. I am not releasing all the photographs from this series on this blog yet because I don’t know if I can but here’s one of them!*
noun – a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause.
adjective – both pleasant and painful/regretful
During the past year I have been surrounded by people, work colleagues and friends from different countries and they would tell me their stories. Often they’re stuck in-between feeling homesick but also loving their new environment (London). I’ve met some really interesting people because of this, just listening to all their anecdotes makes me want to travel right then and there and it creates a bittersweet feeling. These stories have helped me in ways I never thought could do and has touched my heart in a way which is indescribable.
There’s one person (whom I shall not name) I’ve been really inspired by and has completely touched my heart with their stories and just their self expression is so beautiful to witness. They often feel like there is no one in this country that they can truly rely on and be protected by but they enjoy the freedom they have here in London. Even though they may feel all this loneliness and sadness from time to time there are moments that would have never happened, if they never left their home.
This photograph that I took has been inspired by this person and I wanted to capture this because it reminded me of how life is unpredictable. There’s a beauty to this aspect of life but also a feeling of uneasiness never knowing whats around the corner. I think that everyone can relate to the feeling of not knowing and either being worried or excited about the future. That’s was my main reason for taking this picture.
It’s not knowing what’s next but still having the courage to walk down that path or road and you can be pleasantly surprised by the things you experience. The hardest part though is just taking that risk and knowing that you will be okay no matter what happens. Good or bad.
“Maybe you had to leave in order to really miss a place; maybe you had to travel to figure out how beloved your starting point was.”
― Jodi Picoult, Handle with Care
HI! I know I know I’ve gone missing again from this blog and I’ve truly been self reflective about the type of work I’ve been producing and also the stresses of uni. BUT not all is lost I am back with new work on its way! I’ve been snapping away around London and thinking about the city and the people living here in London.
Project: City x Isolation is an idea/concept of how some or many people living in cities feel isolated and maybe even homesick (if they’re from somewhere else).
These issues are hard to not only discuss but to visualize in a way that captures its honesty and rawness. I must say that it is difficult to capture these emotions without over exaggerating it and making it too dramatic/cheesy. Taking street photography is quite challenging, trying to take shots without getting noticed, people giving me strange looks and my own safety since I usually go out alone to take shots. However, I find it extremely satisfying knowing that I can photograph the little details that people usually look over and not think twice about. I have taken a series of black and white photographs that hopefully captured these emotions as they are. These images have a little twist to them with text overlapping the images. I made my own typeface/font using illustrator and tried to create something that’s simplistic.
Anyway I will be posting again with the final images! See you~